who knows why ?

i'm using my new lappy right nowwwww (Y)(Y)(Y)

Everything is right except for my heart .
what's wrong ? why am i thinking about it
over again and again ? i just dont understand .
dont understand all the shit that is happening .
so many doubts , so many things that causes
me to be tired . why am i witnessing such
incident yet feeling lost ? what's the main
purpose of this ? what this incident trying to
show/prove ? i feel fear , i feel uneasy , i feel
lost . explain to me please , stop me from all
wild guesses .

i'm tired but my eyes doesn't wanna close .
i'm tired but somethings can't stop me from thinking.
i'm tired but i'm having so many doubts .
i'm tired but . . . . . !

time nowadays like super fast .
now its already wednesday ! suppose to off today
but dodo say i cannot off because not enough ppl.
thinking if i should go reporting tmr ! sighhhhhhhh !
however , i still enjoyed working ! especially with
some crazy great peeps ! fiona had been sitting next
to be for the past 321days . keeping me awake ,
helping me to massage my back , doing stupid stuffs
and make me laughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! ahhahahaha .
i told her i blogged almost everyday and she asked if
i got blog about her ! and i said i didnt and she say she's
sad and i know she's lying ! hahahahha ! FIONA , joke
moreeeeeee pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee ! (Y)

i'm missing some ppl right now .
those whom i treasure and cherished onced .
those whom i love and hate most .
those whom i need and care most .
those whom i lost and hurt most .
those whom i unable to get back.
those whom i waiting for their return.
those whom that cannot be replaced.

yes , i'm listing them one by one in my mind
right now because i dont want to forget ,
i only wish i could remember and never missed
anything about each one of them .

everything is craved deep in my heart .
be it ..... believe or not .

time to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
meeting tmr morning ):
goodnights .

put or dont put ?
trust or dont trust ?
leave or stay ?

everywhere i go , i smell you .
are you following everywhere i go ?
are you just standing next to me every moment ?
as near as you can ?
i'll add oil because i know you wouldn't want me
to give up . imy ):


signingoff``
JCWS<3