I force my ass up to get myself to school and i'd successfully reached
school a min or two before 8am ! phew ~ ! what a tokyo drift laaa !
没有话可以形容我今天的心情 。高高底底 。哈哈 ！
再次跌倒了 ，可是这次不想站起来了。
没有人看不起我 ，是我看不起自己 。真的累了 。
我讨厌别人给我的眼神 ，讨厌别人看我的眼光 。
这次 ，我不会流泪 。这伤心是自找的 。
钟玮珊 ，你活该 ！
Who killed me , is M-Y-S-E-L-F .
It's when I realized I don't deserveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !
It's when I realized I'm such a disappointmenttttttttttt !
It's when I realized I'd neglected so muchhhhhhhhhh !
It's when I realized I'm hopelessssssssssssssssssssss !
And all those words above , Shot me down !
I chatted with YPL 30mins ago .
She shoot all words at meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .
Here it goes :
you want n level cert with all F? spending money to have a fail cert
wasting ur 5 years in northland going through all the sufferings.
at the end, still get a fail cert?
might as well, now dont study? right.
since you're left with few months then make use of that 3months to make the best out of it
at least you make ur 5 years in northland worthwhile
do you still rmb the pain when you're in hostel ,
wanting to be out of it, wanting to go sch, wanting to work hard.
knowing that so many ppl behind you. teachers that cared, concerned, loved you.
never give up on you despite for all the wrongs you've done. they still accepted you
no matter how you disappoint them, they didn't leave you.
because they want the best for you. they know you're not bad,
just that a decided to zuo jian zi zhi. to make it this way.
they know ur ben xin is not bad, thats why they didn't give up
nothing is impossible. it's the matter of whether you want or you don't
no one born smart, its the amount of effort you put in. right attitude.
我懂 ，其实我全都懂。
I know how other teachers and everyone around
put hopes on me . It's when i feel guilt and I want
to get the shit out . Because i'm afraid of greater
disappointment being brought . It's how little things
affect me . It's how i show how much I don't deserve .
It's all I want , Just for them to neglect me .
The more they show their love care and concern ,
the more i'm drawing myself away . idkwhy . I'm just
borned to be this way . ):
it's too late to regret or anything now laaaaa !
tmrw start work , everything after june then decide !
NOT GOING TO THINK MUCH ! I hope everything
will go well laaaaa !!!!
goodbyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ~
signingoff``
♥JCWS
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