there's a reason behind every smile

though now is kinda late . and i dont know how many hours
i've to spend my time in this post . but i'm trying to settle down
and type all my feelings , thoughts , emotions and etc out .
it's been a long time since i really do so . and definitely , i've kept
too much in me and it's time to rant all my negative unhappiness ,
anger out right here in my own lalaland .

yes , bestf is right . this few days , i'm emotionally and physically not
well at all . i dont know why . but it seems as if i'm no longer myself
anymore . went to the doctor yesterday and this doctor craps alot .
seriously . the things he said like got no link . what sensitive lungs .
irritating ! but my flu and cough is getting worst ): should i go work
tmrw ? was late for work today again . i woke up only at 6.45 though
many missed calls but still couldn't wake me up . LOL. this is just me lah .
so cabbed down to work and the fucking taxi driver damn f . i swear i'm
gonna lodge a complain ! so work and work and work , smoke and smoke
and smoke . i'm freaking tired by the end of the day . wanted to go home
straight . but due to this freaking job . i neglected too many things .
sometimes , i just have the urge to do things all by myself - alone .
with my earpiece stucking into my ears and ignore the world .
so i decided to do everything alone today after work . and now , i felt
much much more betterrrrrrrrrrrrrr . tmr will be better i guess ?
once again , i forced myself to go to the hospital to see ahgong . when i reached
there he's sleeping and i'm so guilty to woke him up . hahahha . but i bought many
many food for him ! and and guess what i got in return ?! he gave me a bottle of
birdnestttttttttttttttttt (Y) so around 9plus i went home ! i'm so freaking dead tired
by the time i reached home . but i dont know why , i just dont want to sleep .
so many things is flowing in my mind . too much to say .

i think of you whenever i fear .
i think of you whenever unhappiness fills me .
i think of you when i'm weak .
i think of you all the time but why .
很多人曾经告诉我 ，不要为了一棵树
放弃一片森林 。可是如果你想要的只是
那棵树呢？不管那棵树有多难看 ，多不值得
可是在你眼里 ，只看见也只欣赏这棵树
那你会选择放弃吗 ？

我现在真的很好。
什么都不许要 。 只要我知道有那几个了解我的心的
人在我身边 ， 就足够了 。

okay , i'm gonna eat my medicine and off to bed soon !
i'm looking forward to tmrw . because i'm meeting my sissy
after work tmrw at jp and have awesome dinner with her and

see if i can pamper myself with some gifts . heehee .

my awesome sissy ! seeing her tmrw ! 

goodnights world (:

signingoff``

♥JCWS